This Is Me. And I'm Cool With That.

agfitnessandhealth

2 days ago

6 min read

Updated: 7 hours ago

This Is Me. And I'm Cool With That.

Body Confidence, Fitness and Learning to Accept Yourself After 40

I've been doing a lot of thinking lately.

About my body. My health. My fitness. The expectations I put on myself.

And perhaps most importantly, the way I see myself.

And I've come to a realisation that, if I'm completely honest, has taken me a very long time to reach.

This is me. And I'm actually okay with that.

Now, that might not sound particularly groundbreaking.

But for me? It really is.

It's been one hell of a journey.

People say that, don't they?

It's been one hell of a journey.

But I can honestly say that, for the first time, I truly feel what those words mean.

Over the years, my relationship with my body has been complicated.

I've spent so much time wanting to improve it, change it, make it stronger, fitter, leaner.

And don't get me wrong, there's absolutely nothing wrong with wanting to improve your health and fitness.

But somewhere along the way, I think I started measuring myself against a version of me that no longer exists.

The woman I was in my 30s.

The woman I was in my early 40s.

The woman I thought I should still be able to look like.

And, perhaps even more damagingly, the women I was comparing myself to now.

Comparison is a funny old thing.

For almost two years, I've been part of Project Possible, working on my own health, fitness and personal development.

And I've been surrounded by some absolutely incredible women.

Women who look flipping amazing.

Strong, lean, confident, inspiring women.

And I've looked at them and thought...

I want to look like that.

I've watched their progress, celebrated their achievements and genuinely felt inspired by them.

But if I'm being completely open, I've also compared myself to them.

Wondered why my body wasn't changing in the same way.

Wondered what I was doing wrong.

Wondered whether I should be trying harder.

And that's quite difficult to admit, especially when you're a women's fitness coach who spends so much time encouraging other women not to compare themselves to anyone else.

But I'm human too.

And sometimes I'm absolutely my own worst enemy.

And then something shifted.

Not overnight.

There wasn't some dramatic moment where everything suddenly fell into place.

But over the past few weeks, something has started to feel different.

I've realised that I'm probably never going to look like some of those women.

And I'm never going to look exactly like I did in my 30s or early 40s.

My body has changed.

I'm 53. I'm postmenopausal. I've lived a life.

And for the first time, instead of feeling disappointed by that realisation...

I feel okay with it.

Actually, more than okay.

I feel a sense of relief.

Because I've spent so long chasing something that perhaps I was never going to find.

And all that time, I've been overlooking the woman who's standing right here.

But this doesn't mean I've given up.

Far from it.

I still want to be strong.

I still want to improve my fitness.

I still have goals.

I still want to challenge myself, look after my health and see what I'm capable of.

But I want to do those things from a different place.

Not because I dislike what I see in the mirror.

Not because I feel I have something to prove.

And certainly not because I'm trying to become somebody else.

I want to keep working towards my goals because I care about myself, not because I'm constantly disappointed in myself.

And that feels like a pretty big difference.

Maybe progress doesn't always look the way we expect.

Over the past couple of years, I've become stronger.

I've built habits that support my health.

I've learnt more about my body, my mindset and what I need.

I've kept showing up, even when life has been busy, stressful or exhausting.

And yet, there have been times when I've struggled to recognise that as progress because I was so focused on what I hadn't achieved physically.

How ridiculous is that?

If one of my clients came to me and told me everything she'd achieved, I'd be the first person telling her how proud she should be.

But when it comes to myself?

Different story.

I think many of us are guilty of that.

We're so quick to recognise everyone else's achievements and so reluctant to acknowledge our own.

And it's something I see regularly in my work as a women's fitness and wellbeing coach in St Ives and Huntingdon, Cambridgeshire.

Women who are doing so much right but still feel they're not doing enough.

Women who are getting stronger, improving their fitness and making time for themselves, yet continue to focus on what they haven't achieved.

Particularly during midlife and menopause, when our bodies can change in ways we don't always expect.

I often remind the women I work with that maintenance is also progress.

Perhaps it's time I listened to my own advice.

Maybe I haven't found a new version of myself.

Maybe I've finally stopped being so hard on the one who's been here all along.

That thought has stayed with me.

Because perhaps this whole journey hasn't really been about becoming a different woman.

Perhaps it's been about learning to appreciate the woman I already am.

The one who's been through difficult times.

The one who's made mistakes, learnt lessons and kept going.

The one who's raised a family, built a business, faced challenges and found her way through.

The one who's still learning.

Still growing.

Still figuring things out.

And maybe she deserves a little more credit than I've been giving her.

So where does that leave me?

Still working towards my goals.

Still training.

Still wanting to be the healthiest, strongest version of myself that I can be.

But with a different perspective.

A little less pressure.

A little more kindness.

And hopefully a lot more enjoyment along the way.

Because I don't want to spend the next ten years wishing I looked like I did ten years ago.

I want to enjoy being the woman I am today.

And if there's one thing I'd love other women to take from this, it's this:

You don't have to stop wanting to improve yourself to start accepting yourself.

You can have goals and still be proud of where you are.

You can want change without believing there's something wrong with you.

You can be inspired by other women without needing to become them.

And you can recognise that your body has changed without spending the rest of your life trying to turn back the clock.

It's taken me 53 years, and one hell of a journey, to start understanding that.

But I'm getting there.

I don’t think I can talk about reaching this point without acknowledging Kelly Reed and Jason Rose.

Project Possible has been one hell of a journey, and you’ve both supported me through the highs, the frustration and the moments when I struggled to see my own progress.

You’ve helped me look beyond the photos and the number on the scales, and recognise the strength, consistency and commitment I’ve built along the way.

I still have goals, and I’m still working towards them, but your support has helped me understand that I don’t need to wait until I reach some imagined finish line before I value the woman I am today.

Thank you both for walking alongside me.

This is me.

And I'm cool with that.

Andrea xx

Hey, I’m Andrea, founder of AG Fitness & Health.

I help women over 40 become stronger, healthier, more confident and more like themselves again through realistic fitness, strength training, simple nutrition and wellbeing support that fits around real life.

I’ve worked in the fitness industry for over 27 years, and I understand that our bodies, priorities and approach to exercise can change in our 40s, 50s and beyond.

My coaching style is supportive, practical and down-to-earth. No extremes, no punishment and no obsession with the scales — just realistic habits, strength, movement and support that help you feel better in your body and more confident in what it can do.

Want to get moving?

Grab a pair of dumbbells and try my FREE 10-Minute Full Body Dumbbell Workout — a simple at-home workout designed to help you build strength without needing loads of time or equipment.

👉 10-Minute Full Body Dumbbell Workout

https://youtu.be/3RI6AaxAphU?si=WcxmzPpkbu-VOcPQ

Ways to work with me

Face-to-face fitness classes

Community fitness and strength classes for women in St Ives, Huntingdon and the surrounding Cambridgeshire area.

View the current class timetable and reserve your place here:

www.bookwhen.com/andreagaynor

VIP Club – Online Fitness Studio

Short, manageable workouts with live sessions and recordings to help you stay consistent from home.

Message me for details or a free trial.

1:1 Coaching

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